tupacabra:

*wakes up with one sock on* whoa what a crazy night

spnwhore:

i think 60% of my life consists of me laughing by myself

itsbetterthananal:

my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life

astrumindivum:

When you know someone who dies, everything changes. All the little things that seemed so important yesterday become completely irrelevant. The world stops and you suddenly realize that you have no idea how you’re going to live without that one person. Treasure the people you have in your life because tomorrow is never a guarantee, so make the best out of today

trillow:

how much do islands cost i want one

fake-mermaid:

if u dont give me ur wifi password when i come to your house i will never come to your house again

cupcakesandbrimstone:

i think there should be a biological setting for ‘i dont want kids why do i need to ovulate/menstruate’ and then your period just ollies out for a while

like ‘ok bro i accept your life choices call me if you want a baby’

nevvzealand:

when a friend buys u food and says u dont have to pay them back u know they are forever

delusional-philosopher:

danisnotsocoollike:

weird thing is, you cannot choose your favourite bandmember

it just comes to you, you just have to feel it

i wish i could feel my favorite band member

bedussey:

instead of saying “horny” why don’t people just say “sexcited”